so, um…

the last time i was with child, i couldn’t wait to document every detail.
{i’m sure, my readers loved the play by play. ha!}
i wanted to have a picture of every week, to remember how it went.

true story: i haven’t looked back at any of those posts yet.

i mean, i am excited to have a girl,
and to add another runt to our mix.
i just keep forgetting that i’m pregnant!

it isn’t until i get that 10pm craving for pizza that i remember something’s amiss.

that, and the excess 20 pounds i’m already carrying….
oye. that’s going to be fun on the other side…
and i guess the all-day kicking and twirling this little girl is doing…
that’s helping to bring me back down to earth…
this girl is going to be so different from her brother,
i can already tell.

and since i have been grounded to my computer editing and designing for most of it,
i don’t get out as much as i wish i could,
and maybe i have too much going on to pour through the books again and make a checklist of the water i drink and the miles i walk.

it just means i forget until sunday morning when i stand in front of my closet in near tears,
when i realize i don’t have anything to wear…. and if i do, i don’t want to wear it anyway!
cause frankly, this shot of my belly and shoes is what i wish you really saw of me these days…
bright, fun-looking… unless you knew that my hair was a mess, that
i’m wearing the gramma sweater over it, and the nerd glasses that prove,
“i’d much rather be in my jammies, thankyouverymuch…“

but there’s a lot more. a whole lot more…
and nothing feels cute.
hence, why i have no real photos of my girl and me.
{that still feels weird to say… a girl.}
why i don’t spend lots of time stressing that i don’t have anything girly at my house.

and just when i am about to break down and cry of too much to do and feeling ugly,
i come home to a guy who helps clean, almost always does the dishes,
and though for the life of me, i can’t figure out why, still grabs me in for a quick kiss
to tell me how cute i am.

i have tears thinking about how lucky i am.