i did the c-section thing, then i had a homebirth and a VBAC…
so, really, all anyone wants to know and the one common question i’ve been asked is:

would i do it again?

in truth: not sure.

i totally understand the question. from the objective view, one took 5 minutes, the other 36 hours. one was in a hospital with a doctor, one was at home with no meds and a midwife.

there are obviously a lot of reasons it had to be this way this time around for me and it was successful for all those reasons. i didn’t have a c-section, which was my ultimate reason. and being that at 2 weeks postpartum, i was feeling almost like a human already and moving great, and not on meds, i am going to say the recovery is 17 times easier than surgery. yes, because i tore, it means i was trading stitches for stitches, and while i won’t try to say which are worse, (stitches just suck), these have healed lots faster and hurt far less. i couldn’t work out or jump even 7 or 8 weeks after my surgery, but this is such different story…

then there is the bit about actually being at home. cc took 7 days (never enough) and i got to keep him here for all of them! before, he had only 2 work days at home cause the rest were in the hospital… this way, we jumped right in, had family here to help, ate normal food, wore real clothes, and shared a bed.

those first few days i really needed help to get around cause i was recovering from the dehydration and energy drain… i was dizzy and lightheadedlots… among the soreness and pains. the soreness this time of course felt like i had done 7 days worth of p90x in one day, and after not eating or drinking… everything was sore… yet today, i can hardly remember that pain. today, i just think about how personal and intimate and even spiritual that experience was, and while scary at the end, it was a huge bonding experience for my husband and i, and my aunt and i.

then there is the issue with my lack of energy: part of me wonders if i were at a hospital if an iv would be easier to put in, if the placenta could have been removed in a less painful, more sanitary way…? who knows, maybe it would have been very similar in the end…

the good news: i did it. i had a baby vaginally. that means, i can go to a hospital next time if i want, i can have an iv once i realize i’m not eating, and perhaps still deliver naturally if i wanted to, but have the energy/fluids i need. more good news: it can’t be as long or hard as this one was– i know i can do it.

excuse the metaphor… but a few days after the birth, i was thinking about the end of the 3rd Harry Potter. how Harry saw his own patronus and knew he could conjure it, cause he did it before. he couldn’t even remember doing it. when i get there again, facing childbirth i mean, i think i could do it again naturally, cause i know i already did it once.  and while i loved so much about being at home and being able to labor in my own “comforts”, we’ll see if we do that again… maybe for cc’s emotional health we would go to a hospital…

lets just be glad i don’t have to think about any of that for a while anyway…
we’ll deal with that when we get there.

boston’s birthstory // c-section
reese’s birthstory // extreme homebirth