guys. a moment to be real, if you please.
i am a pretty happy person, an outgoing person.
to some, i have a great sense of humor, and some people like to be around me.
that i can’t help.
but what i also can’t help is the fact that a) i am a woman and b) that means i feel way more than i should.
i have days, more often than i’d like to admit that i feel anxious. when i read into everything. when i worry about what i said or didn’t say. if i offended someone. if those photos i sent to a client were received well. if i should even be trying to improve at what i do, or should i just lay low and forget about it. focus on just one thing at a time…
i have stayed up nights because someone posted an image i took, and in the midnight light on my phone i THOUGHT they had edited it. and it looked awful. i was up all night stressing about how maybe they didn’t like the images i sent them, or how others would see it that way… i even went and checked on the computer to see the files to be sure i hadn’t sent it like that. for 5 or 6 hours, i was up in bed looking at images, getting ideas, but mostly feeling inadequate. not good enough. and that pit in my stomach wasn’t going away. by the time morning came, my mojo was gone, and i was meeting clients soon.
a few weeks ago i taught a lesson to the young women in church about giving to the poor and needy and serving. and then for thanksgiving day, since we were all alone, in town we decided to spend the day doing as many acts of service we could fit in and pay for. it was incredible. it reminded me that it’s not all about me. and that though i am just one, i am one.
God knows and loves His children.
all of them. that means me too.
i am enough.
even if it takes many many times to remember.
luckily i have a husband built for a woman like me, and he knew just what to say to give me a pep talk.
