the new year is equally exciting and depressing sometimes.

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well, you know, it’s a reminder of all the crap you want to do, all of the crap on your list you didn’t do last year, and all of those goals you keep setting over and over.

maybe not. maybe you are pretty good at achieving everything on your list every year and you always feel like you are the captain of your ship.

i hopped on facebook a little too early this year and kept seeing lots of negative titles to articles like “why i don’t make new year’s resolutions” or “why i don’t do the “One Little Word” thing”. I’m not a huge believer in bashing, so i didn’t read them. i quite believe in setting goals, in trying to improve ourselves. even if it means we constantly fail to do so.

i am not always a winner, i’ll tell you that, but i’m nothing if not a shameless list-maker, a forever goal-setter, a huge, constant, forever, work-in-progress. i might have missed out on a few of my goals this year, but i gained a few that weren’t on my list, and those, were more valuable. so my list has changed. it’s become even more personal and close to home, and i’ll admit, a bit more “in God’s hands” than ever before…

instead of resolutions and “i want to be more…” lists, this year we sat down as a family and made some clear, measurable goals.

new year's kiss

at our new year’s party with my siblings in AZ. my abs are still sore…

i’m not saying resolutions are not great, because they are! and i have loved having a word to describe my year. for me, i almost would rather look back and create a word to describe what my year turned out to be. it never is as i plan. and though this last year, my “mantra” or whatever, was to “live well, love always, and laugh often”. i titled that post “2014: a year to change” and listed a handful of random things i wanted to do or be more like… the irony is that it was a year i changed. a lot, actually. more than i have in years. but not because i took more pictures of my kids or anything on that list…  it really ended up being a year to discover myself. who i am as a mother, a wife, and a friend. and when i

i feel like my goal was to feel like i had it all together, to be that person who could in fact, do it all. 2014 led me to some really dark times as a mother, and i learned more about myself and what i need to feel whole so i could really be the mom i wanted to, and the wife and friend that i wanted to be. after a few months of teary nights, frustrated at my attempts to do it all AND handle a difficult threenager, i leaned on my husband, who reminded me that i can’t do it all. i spoke to a therapist, who reminded me i AM unique, a good mom, and a good person, despite how i let some people make me feel. i made real friends, something i often feel like i am on the receiving end of, but not always the best myself.  i realized i could live better and love more when i was out of my head.

my Heavenly Father was and is so mindful of moms, of all women, capable of hormonal imbalance and unrest caused by the daily grind and caused by the onslaught of social media, and the pressure that WE put on ourselves.

in short, 2014 was a year to get my mojo back. to remember what I’M capable of and to refocus my priorities.

 

so no, i don’t have one little word; i don’t have a list of things i would like to do more or be better at. {well, i do, but not ones i will hold myself to learning in just 1 year!}

i have lost 3 lbs this week. 10 or more to go to meet my goal. husband and i are on a program that is motivating and working. {i’ll let you in on it when it’s done}

i started a business, one that will be expanding like crazy soon and i have lots of goals for too. i’m excited and motivated to learn from other inspiring women who have made it happen and i plan to do so too.

we have money we need to save to pay for preschool, to someday own a home here… and we set plan for how to do it.

i have booked flights to go to a wedding, a blog conference, and hope to plan a girls’ trip for the summer.

my main goal this year is to stay positive and let the Lord carry us through, as He always does.

i learn more, grow more, and gain so much more when i give up MY list for His.

here, take it. and by 2016, i will not be the same woman i am now.

 

i hope your 2015 rocks , whatever your goals may be.