INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a

distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower

and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as

Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable

programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the

system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband

1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to

download Tears 6.2

and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works

as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications

Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers

35.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to

default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download

the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother- In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the

background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources)

Also do not attempt to

reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are

unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory

and cannot learn new

applications quickly. You might consider buying

additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking

3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support