This year, Easter was a special one. It has been years, about 6, since we have been here to spend it with family. And while it isn’t one of the biggest holidays usually for our family, I feel like this one feels like the beginning of something great.
Last year, I dealt with the worst part of anxiety and depression. I felt the emptiest, the most alone, the most trapped, and the most desperate for my Savior’s help. After getting help, again, and medication, again, and deciding that what I needed most was to focus on family, it started to slowly fall back into place. Even the Christmas and New Year holidays brought me lots of anxious days while my husband worked in San Diego and I tried not to let all of the thoughts swirl into depression. Every new day we spend here and with family around, my heart fills a little more full, and I feel a little more safe from the pit of emptiness that is anxiety.
We spent Saturday with family for Lucy’s birthday and then at the park to hunt for eggs and be with family. Every time someone asks how we are doing here, I have to be honest: It’s perfect. I will always miss San Diego. I will always miss my dear friends and family there. And of course the perfect weather and the beach. But when they ask me how life is right now, I have no complaints. I have my husband around more, a lot more. I have family all around. We have space for my kids to have their own places to be and a small yard for them to run and play. Dad has his garage filled with tools and he gets up to work early so by about 3pm, his tool belt is on and we are projecting, something we had terribly missed. Financially it is not going to be a huge dramatic change, but the quality of life is so far improved, that we couldn’t be happier for now.
I thought of my Savior this weekend and how much He understands me and my small bump in the road. So many have had far more difficult trials than this, but He had felt the same panic and knot-tightening fears that I had. He knew depression and loneliness. I know that our prayers were answered to be here and to have this change in our family. As we talked about what He suffered for me so I could be whole again, my heart burst out my eyes. And on Sunday, when this kid told me he didn’t want to go to church, I quietly told him as he sat on my lap, “You don’t have to. I will be there. Especially today, I want to be there to thank Him. I need my Savior to know that I know He Lives. I know He wants me to be happy and He overcame far more so I could be, and that I get to be happy with my family that I love forever.”
This is my Easter shirt. Cause if I could bumper sticker my beliefs, it would be this:
Y’all need Jesus!
On Easter Morning, I wanted to be sure and talk about the story of Jesus’s resurrection so that we could start the day focused on Christ and the real reason we have Easter so we started a new Easter tradition. We hid the Easter baskets until after we found our Resurrection eggs* and had a short lesson as we opened each one and told the story. I know some are far more creative and made their own, but I just purchased ours and I’m glad because I wouldn’t have had the time to make it happen otherwise. It was such a sweet part of the day and we could refer back to it all day when Boss asked questions.
This is some of what the Easter bunny brought. Very little candy, and more fun things to do and read. And PS, since it is Dr. Seuss’s birthday week, there is a huge collection on sale for $4 at Walmart right now! I have a few more I want to go back for… The resurrection eggs will be something that we do again and hopefully my kids will be able to tell it themselves in a few years. I love starting new traditions and finally having a place that makes it easier to do that!