sometimes i find myself playing a game:
what was i doing this time a few years ago?

in the past few years as i thought of that,
it brought up less-than-happy memories of awkward relationships with sad endings.
lots of tears and drama for one person.

now when i think of the last few years,
its just memory after memory of holding hands and sunny days.

in fact, 3 years ago this week i had a ring put on my hand,
i was counting the days,
and i had no clue what that would mean for me now.

am i going to bring it up every year at the end of march?
probably.

am i going to ever get over all of the happy things that surround
that weekend of realization that life would never be the same?
no. probably not.

i guess it helps on days like yesterday when the house flooded {after the toilet tried to purge itself},
and after a long day of working for both of us,
and a few errands and dinner,
you cleaned the kitchen {where said dinner  tried to demolish it},
dishes included,
and then played with B and put him down.

its that moment i hear incessant giggling from his room about an hour after bedtime…

there i days i think about being stressed,
and that’s when i remember,
i have you.

~ m