i’ve been super emotional this week after hearing about the tragedy in Connecticut
and I’ve been thinking of all of those mothers who haven’t slept nights.
and how they can breathe.

the ones who are going to have a very very hard christmas
without the littles who help bring the magic…

i wept right along with most of you, and had to keep away from the posts and news,
because i couldn’t bear to know the details…. 

with my emotions a little closer to home,
we were determined to have a sweet weekend with our little.

we went to our ward’s christmas party “a night in bethlehem.”
we dressed up, we signed ceasar’s census, brought our taxes,
ate pita and hummus on blankets, and sang songs.
we watched the children sing songs, we saw baby jesus,
and watched as daddy played a wise man and mom sang a silent night…

we have taken much longer to go to bed these days,
a little more cuddling, more singing. more stories….

after my last photo shoot of the season we went to lunch and ran around outside.
watching my little dude with so much joy and innocence and life…
 

i was so filled with love and reminded of how special it is to be a mom,
especially at christmas. and my heart ached…

we came home to a package from g-ma clifford who sent us a gingerbread kit.

we all piled in the kitchen to eat candy and pretend to build things.
memories and new traditions for our new little family…

with candy and hardening frosting everywhere,
we stopped and played, with the christmas music on full blast…

the last few years, as we have spent the holidays with family i always find myself thinking about how i can possibly create the same kind of magical christmases as we grew up with and that cc’s family has… in our own home some day?

watching little boss run around the house pointing out the lights on the tree,
and playing pa-rum-pa-pum-pum on his drums with dad,
and asking to call maa-mah to see the elffff,
i realized: it IS magical.
and it’s the kids that make it.

sunday, boss woke up at 2am, and was up till 5.
a sad diaper rash, hungry, cold, and in need of lots of cuddles.
we didn’t get to bed until 1 to begin with, 
so we were wasted at church, and didn’t make it to the first hour,
but we both agreed, we would do it again…