i realize it isn’t about me.
it’s you i am hoping for.
i hope you come home safely,
and that you just as beautiful as you are in my dreams.
it is hard to imagine how i will be so uninvolved in your coming here,
how i can only beg to have you right by me at all times, 
and at best i will get a “we’ll see what we can do” 
from the people i had so much faith in handling a natural birth.
i would be lying if i said i wasn’t nervous to do this.
i definitely do not have the confidence i did a few weeks ago,
but i am still so excited to be the arms at the end of it.
i can’t wait to meet you kiddo,

and to get your cute head out from under my ribs
where i can enjoy looking at you!
{i have to admit, 
i will miss the little heel that is constantly poking through my side…}
i guess knowing when you are coming is still odd,
but it means grandma will be here in plenty of time,
dad was able to get some time off work,
and i know i will eventually get a prize at the end of this emotional ride.
on sunday i talked to a few ladies that let me know
“you still have time” or “my baby turned 3 days before!”
i had to sing right after these encounters,
and was so worried i would run out of breath…
turns out i didn’t,
but i was too uncomfortable and emotional to make it 3 hours…
to be honest,
if you do turn and decide to “make like a baby”
within the next 5 days,
great.
otherwise, my little Boss,
i will see you on Monday,
i will be the one in the ugly blue cap,
with lots and lots of tears…
love,
mom