coconut cream pudding naughtiness wrapped in the best crepe recipe i’ve found…
smother in whipped goodness and fruit, and that’s what i call a balanced breakfast!
i have been thinking non stop about little ryan cruz.
a sweet little boy, who though we never met, i feel like i know.
i know what it’s like to have a 3-year-old boy so full of life and wonder.
a boy who loves running and being free, laying in the grass and being wild.
what i don’t know is what it’s like to lose that boy.
i have cried at least once a day thinking about ryan.
about his mom. his dad. and the people who knew him in real life.
i have cried thinking about what life is like for her now,
one minute her every minute is dictated by another human,
and the next, it’s so radically different.
i know nothing about what that’s like.
and that makes me hurt worse.
my little guy and i spent the morning making these “pancakes”.
i put down the baby, and it was just us.
i had a little bit of an out-of-body experience as i really wanted to remember the little things,
these moments that i so often take for granted in the busyness of life.
he stood by me on a step stool and watched me make crepes,
watched as i attempted to “fancy flip” them in the pan, cheered me on when i did it right,
and said “oooooh” like a sad sports fan when i produced a crappy one.
we practiced saying “crepe” cause it usually comes out as “crimbs”
and we giggled together. at one point he threw his skinny arms around me and said,
“oh i wuv these mom, thank you to making them for me mom!”
just the day before, i was stuck on the computer for most of the day,
and that boy was begging me to come play with him.
i’m not perfect. no mom is.
but at least i can remember that my boy has a little of ryan cruz in him.
i can spend my days loving on him and cherishing the moments.
who knows how long they will last.
i thought about ryan and jacqui and dan. and wept again.
we love you ryan, and we are praying for your mom and dad.
they are pretty cool parents who will change the world with their story,
and so will you.
we wont forget you. #redballoonsforryan