since i can’t find one, i took a picture today on my new bike that is melon-colored
we went next door to our huge park today and i rode my bike and cc rode beside me on his longboard.
it was so fun, but definitely wore us both out.
the other good news of today is that we found a boba place with good chinese food,
decided that we love where we live,
then we realized we had tons of gift cards to home depot that cc has collected over the last few years so we went and did some home improvement. i will update you with pictures when i am good and ready.
now for the baby news:
i went in on thursday for my appointment and she told me i was 50% effaced.
that would be great news except for it was followed by the fact
that Boston is not heading down yet.
he is in the transverse {side-lying} position that i have felt he was in for weeks.
only now there isn’t a lot of room so he is there for good.
my midwife did an ultrasound just to be sure, and there he was,
head right up by my left rib, and his butt right up by my right.
she asked if i wanted to schedule with the OB to have him try to move him,
and i said yes, whatever it takes.
i know she does this a lot, but she sounded so nonchalant explaining to a first-time mom that indeed the work and research she has been doing for the last 5 months may in fact be for naught. that if it isn’t possible to turn this baby in the way God intends him to be,
i will need to be sliced to free him.
i wont lie and say that i wasn’t affected by this.
i have been so confident and excited about this experience for the last few months,
counting down the days until i get to go through the experience and then reap the reward.
i wept the whole way home.
i called chris, met him at work, and cried some more.
i called my mother for reassuring words and i wept some more.
i kept thinking about something sandy {my midwife} said at the end of our conversation.
after i asked, “what’s the worst case scenario?” she said,
“well, a c-section, which, depending on the mother can be a huge relief– that you don’t have to go through labor!”
it was that phrase that stuck in my head the 4 times i woke up thursday night.
“i WANT to go through labor!”
i want to be there for one of the biggest days of my first child’s life!
after i got home, cc came home and gave me a blessing.
he wrapped his arms around me and let me cry, and then gave me some pretty reassuring words that things will go ok, perhaps even as planned all along.
friday i just tried to stay busy,
we went to a work party that was fun and relaxing,
and helped keep me free of dwelling on the ifs.
{maybe later i will post some pictures of that…}
next thursday morning we will go in to see if we can’t move B down to the starting line.
they tell me it is usually 58% successful, and 90% if transverse,
but very difficult to do with first-time mothers. especially since i have no room in my body.
i keep getting told how small my belly is, and i have to admit,
i am a lot smaller than i thought i would be too.
i know we are being watched over, and i know Heavenly Father wants my little man to get here safely. i hope i get to be a part of it, and that B and i get to run the marathon we’ve trained for.
until then, i am doing everything i can to stay busy so i don’t think about it,
or i will break down.
Wow. I'm so sorry about the transverse position. And, I'm really sorry about your midwife's attitude towards it! That hurts. It seems ironic that so many women could give birth naturally and don't, and many women who want to are given obstacles like yours. (Not that I am among those who wanted to experience natural birth, but i definitely respect and admire your work and passion
Oh Meg…<br />I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Please, please, please know that whatever happens, will be the Lord's will. Your little B will get here the way that he gets here, and I'm sure both of you will be healthy and happy. Besides, you should be awake either way to greet him into the world! (They only put mommy under if it's an emergency c-section.) If that
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Hey, I'm glad I looked at your blog today…. Our lil one was completely breech at 37, almost 38 weeks and my options were to try and turn him or have a c-section. I too wanted to do it more natural and either of these ways don't exactly allow that. I spent hours crying and researching. <br /><br />There is this technique that's called the Webster breech technique. After hours and
oh meg, how frustrated you must feel! there aren't very many feelings that i hate more than working really hard for something you really want and then having it taken away from you by someone or something beyond your control. i know you know that no matter how this whole thing goes down in the end you'll be happy and blessed with a beautiful baby boy, but that doesn't take away a lot
Meg,<br /><br />Even though I haven't been in your specific position, I feel for you, I really do. You'll hear a lot of "a healthy baby is the most important in the end" comments from people, and that may be true, but it doesn't in the least discount your feelings and emotions. So, don't feel the least bit bad about grieving over a potentially lost birth plan, okay?<br
I would recommend spinningbabies.com too! There is so much that can be done, I'm surprised a midwife is already talking c-section. You have done great so far at getting educated and knowing your options, I'm sure you will do everything you can! If c-section is your best option this time, know that natural is still a possibility for your future children! Praying for you!! ((hugs))
We'll be praying for you, too, Meg. You have really good friends here in these comments. Nice to have a wealth of support from people who've experienced similar things. Hope their kind words and advice bring some comfort. We love you.
PLEASE don't give up hope! Your baby can still switch. I would suggest looking up spinningbabies.com and see if anything on there can help you. It's a website devoted in helping moms get their babies in the best position for vaginal birth possible. Do NOT let anyone tell you a c-section is better cause you won't have to go through labor. If they say that- they've never had one. I
Oh Meg, <br />I would have probably reacted the same way. I'll keep you in my prayers, and hope all goes the way it should. <br />Good Thoughts your way!!