it would almost be silly to say this is B’s first christmas.

he wont remember the fuss we all made to ensure
everything was just right.
the stress of packing and the long long drive from here to there.

he wont remember how many smiles his little crinkle nose
incited in just one week. how much it meant for grandparents to have a few minutes
of bliss.

he wont remember how much fun he had dancing around in rooms full of wrapping paper
and a full audience. or even the toys and cars and puzzles and clothes
that he was showered with.

but i will.
i will remember everything.

i will remember how different it feels to think of Christmas
with a little boy on my lap. how much more it means to me
to hear songs about mary and how she felt as a mother of such an important little guy.

it was great.
we spent time with family,
we were successful in our gifting,
we were able to see maddi for a few minutes.
{yes– see. she was allowed to skype!}

and i will remember our last 10-hour drive home from arizona.
B slept most of it, and when he wasn’t sleeping, he was smiling.
no crying, no screaming, just a this-will-never-happen-again perfect drive.

why it will never happen again?
because by the end of January,

we will officially be in San Diego!